The Subcontinent never looked back after that. Welcome to 3024, where it is now the top superpower on earth. The countries got back together in 2047 to create a brand new entity called the Subcontinent. There were so many fireworks that day it put the 4th of July celebrations to shame.
Luckily, the fog the celebration created never left the place. There were bonfires all over the place with people talking about the 20th century when this landfill was the jewel of the Crown. People seemed to actually love the fact that their ancestors produced Indigo together or got hurt for making Muslin. The 100 years apart was really tough for these countries: filled with wars, revolutions, and false promises like democracy. I mean, who even believes in democracy anymore? Why should the people have a voice? Why on earth should society be aware of stuff?
Anyway, let’s get back to the present, 3024; to the topic of air pollution and what success it brought. Breathable air is now the most valuable commodity on Earth. If you have just an ounce of that, a vault full of gold, a bank full of money, or a wallet full of crypto is even smaller than nothing. Well, banks no longer care if you have a sextillion (one, then 21 zeros) taka in your account. They only offer priority service to people who hold oxygen in their account. The pollution in Dhaka’s air made it the richest city in the world today.
The TWH team even heard of black markets around Momadpur and Uddam areas. No, not for pot or pills. For vintage bottles of breathable air. What’s in them? You never know, ‘cause you can’t see them. But it’s not regular air for sure; people already know that air is a visible element, so if you can’t see it, it must be breathable air. Just last week, a 22-year-old Tamisa Saria got arrested for illegally possessing a bottle of “salty sea air” from the pre-industrial era, brought to Dhaka from the famous Boxes Bazar. She told the police that her dealer Shoinul also sold flavors like “fresh mountain breeze” and “unpolluted pookies.”
Luckily, we found Shoinul at Shonipur, in his 2,000-storied palace, and got him on record saying, “Those were my lowest-value products. You can’t even pronounce the names of my premium bottles.”
You see, black market dealers or smugglers aren’t really the target of the police anymore. They make enough to buy the whole department. You must be confused about the concept of breathable air. It’s not like people can’t breathe without it. Humans have developed lungs that can breathe foggy and polluted air. So, air pollution was nothing but a scam. People buy breathable air just for status and a bit of “high.” The commodity is not illegal, but its illegal possession (holding without a certificate) is.
Breathable air lets you create an “Air Account” in 8SDC or any other reputable bank. By doing so, you can get access to VIP breathing lounges in airports. Poor people can even take “Air Loans.” According to Nitty Bank’s CEO Pridoy Berikool, “Why not burden them with a bit of extra debt? They are meant to carry that for our VIP clients.”
Who are those VIPs? “Air Billionaires.” They are people who sourced the breathable air in the 21st century when it was worth almost nothing and kept the business going through their offspring. Mufa is such an example. His ancestors brought Vancouver air to Dhaka and stored them in a safe house in Doc Shaheber Garage for centuries. Mufa now oversees breathable air collection in the Wild West and sends cargo planes full of it. His trusted pilots Hamiul Aslam and Aturaq bring the shipments to Shoinul in Dhaka, the richest breathable air trader-slash-dealer in the whole world.
Shoinul reportedly has thousands of “Air Vaults” all over the world. Industry titans, presidents, and bankers wait in mile-long lines at the back entrance of these facilities to earn bits and pieces of favor points that’ll help them in the next election or to expand their businesses.
This is great for the economy and all but air inequality brings puny people to the streets and try to form a rebellion. Huh, like they even deserve it! Why would they want lower prices when their lungs can’t even handle breathable air? They most often pass out before even getting “high.” What a waste! There’s no growing gap between those who have the ability to not pass out and those who don’t. It’s basically a trait hidden in your DNA that scientists can’t find. Air inequality is just in the poor’s minds, it’s not real.
Experts say that the current trend might give birth to a new lord like Shoinul, even from the ranks of his representative presidents around the world. But they’re probably wrong! Experts said that air pollution was bad centuries ago and it literally changed the world for good.
So, get a sniff of breathable air if your lungs can handle it and celebrate air pollution and carbon emissions.
If I could go back to 2024, I’d ask all environmentalists to stop fussing about pollution. I’d ask socially aware people to hang back, smoke more, and adopt more polluting strategies to speed up the process to get a better future, faster!
